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A Sunday Love Note

It’s been a rough week for many of us in Oregon, Washington and California. Please remember self-care. Here is a love note from me to you to begin the new week:

You, yourself as much as anybody else in the entire universe,

deserve your love and affection.

                                                                       -Buddha

A Recipe for Self-Love

Here’s a short Sunday love note from me to you – it’s actually a sample recipe for self-love from Carley Schweet’s book, ‘Holistic Self-Care Guided Journal”:

Add together:

A pinch of courage,

A handful of patience,

A cup of compassion,

A heaping tablespoon of love.

Mix thoroughly and use as needed. When mixed together these ingredients will provide what you need to begin to create a foundation of self-care practice.

Other sample  quality ingredients  you can use:

Patience, grace, reflection, love,

mindfulness, awareness, fearlessness.

Can you think of more?

Sent with much love,

Bela Friedman

How to Dissolve Fear

Many women I’ve talked to this week are filled with fear.  Fear about our country struggling with an ongoing pandemic, an economic crisis, violence, social and racial injustices and peaceful protests. It is a lot to deal with. But one thing is certain: We have to learn to live together in love, peace and harmony.

I truly believe that we are on the verge of a new era of enlightenment – and its arrival will be in the not too distant future. For now, we all have to remember that we have the opportunity to choose love over fear. Love for ourselves and others. 

But how do we combat our fears? One way is to remember that the sun is always shining–even though the clouds may obscure it for a while. Here’s a short writing from Louise Haye about fear that can help:

As the fears come, I choose to see them as passing clouds in the sky, and I let them go on their way. I am not my fears…I know that what we do in our hearts is very important, so I begin every day in a silent connection with my heart. When I feel afraid, I let the love dissolve the fear.

If you are having issues with fear, confidence or stress please reach out to me. I give free consultations and offering Zoom and phone coaching and hypnotherapy sessions on a sliding scale to meet your financial needs.

With love,

Bela

A Sunday Love Note to You

Dear Be Inspired Community:

It’s a self-care kind of Sunday just for you – and here is my love note to you:

The way to self-care is to love yourself first,

To be your own best friend,

To see all of your magnificence,

To love yourself with grace and forgiveness.

All else will fall into place.

Remember that there is no perfect way to navigate the days we’re experiencing. No matter how you choose to spend your time and energy, know that staying home and doing your best to stay healthy is enough. Try not to put unnecessary pressure on yourself (*note to self*).

Please consider forwarding this message to a friend, a healthcare worker, or someone you love. It might be just what they need. If you enjoy this message, please share. Make this your special self-care week!

Join Us for the Be Inspired Women’s Circle on Zoom, A Free Event, Saturday, August 22, 1-2:30pm


 JOIN US FOR THE BE INSPIRED WOMEN’S CIRCLE ON ZOOM A FREE EVENT, SATURDAY, AUGUST, 22, 2020 1-2:30 PM  

If you need a little magic to be inspired — or have some inspiration to share with others, you’ll want to join us for the next Be Inspired Women’s circle on Zoom, Saturday, August 22, 1-2:30 pm. Please remember to sign up for a free Zoom account if you haven’t already.
 
The Circle’s agenda will include an inspiring or fun topic, sharing in conversation, journaling, and I’ll be giving a guided meditation to help take your minds off any challenges you may be having. I hope you will attend, and feel free to invite a friend. I will send a confirmation and Zoom link to those who RSVP by August 21.If you have any questions please let me know.   This Circle is for you, if you are a woman who longs to: Be inspired and inspire others. Share a safe space with other women. Feels comfortable sharing challenges. Release your inner critic.

This Circle is for you, if you are a woman who: Feels stuck in your job, business or personal life. Feels unfulfilled, overworked or overwhelmed. Feels like something is missing, but you don’t know what it is. Going through a major life transition, or reinventing yourself. This Circle is open to women of all ages. races and nationalities.

It  provides a safe, supportive community for exploring viewpoints, authentic voice, passions, dreams, choices, calling/purpose, spirituality, challenges, relationships, parenting, and your brilliance!   The Be Inspired Women’s Circles are 90-minute group sessions. The group experience will help guide you to quiet your inner critic and move into a more fulfilling and inspired life.

If you are interested in taking part in the Circle and this is your first time, please email bela@belacoaching.com  the following:
1. Your name.
2. Please share what you do professionally. If you are a care giver, or full-time student, or are taking time off, please share that too.
3. What you are hoping to gain from the program.

Please contact me if you’d like to attend. I look forward to seeing you at the Be Inspired Women’s Circle.  Contact me at bela@belacoaching.com or 503-848-3640. Looking forward to seeing you there!

Are You a Dangerous Woman?

Today I attended a wonderful woman’s circle on Zoom facilitated by Cat Wilson, my terrific coaching teacher and mentor. Her group is called, “Women Who Bloom” and it meets the second and fourth Tuesdays of the month at 10 am. It was an amazing circle filled with great questions and answers from like-minded smart women.

I loved Cat’s topic, “Are you a dangerous woman?” My answer to that questions was, yes, definitely. In my perspective, to be a dangerous woman is to wear a badge of honor and courage.  But what makes a dangerous woman? To me it is the following:

  • A woman who strives to make a difference in the world.
  • A woman who has confidence and has spent years developing it.
  • A woman who extends herself to help someone else.
  • A woman who is fearless when someone tells her “no.”
  • A woman who questions authority.
  • A woman that doesn’t give up in spite of difficult circumstances.
  • A woman who goes after her dreams and overcomes her challenges.
  • A woman who has love for herself and others.
  • A woman who learns from her mistakes and keeps growing toward her goals.
  • A woman who goes beyond the norm and stands up for herself and for the rights of others.

Other participants added:

  • She is stable and grounded.
  • She marches to the beat of her own drum.
  •  She can be muscular, is not afraid to get dirty and shows inner and outer strength.

How are you a dangerous woman?

If you are interested in learning to make positive changes in your life, contact me for a free 30-minute consultation at https://belacoaching.com/contact/. I offer a sliding scale fee that will fit any budget.

Journaling for Healthcare Workers and Caregivers

Do you know any healthcare workers or caregivers who would like to relieve stress with journaling? I’m considering offering a workshop that will help these groups by journaling for healing and growth.

So, who benefits most from journaling? Research shows that many people benefit from expressive writing or journaling.

The people most likely to benefit most from journaling are those who value personal growth and introspection, as well as those who want to experience the emotional, physical, psychological and spiritual health benefits of writing for wellness.

If you need emotional support to help with stress, insomnia, or other personal or professional issues, you can reach me at belacoaching.com/contact. I’m currently offering a sliding scale fee to fit every budget.

Feeling Anxious About The Pandemic and the Chaos in the World Today? Here’s How to Boost Your Mood Right Now.

If you are feeling anxious, having a hard day or just uncertain and scared about the unknown — here is what you can do today to feel better right now:

1. Be grateful. Look around you and find what is right and what is working. There are more things in your life that are right than out of control. Praise them. Intentionally make mental and written lists of how all your needs are met and how life is taking care of you. Whatever the fear, counter it with gratitude. If you are worried about your health, make lists of all the parts of your body that are healthy and functioning well. If you are worried about the economy, praise all the ways that your needs have been met and how you are always taken care of. Give thanks. You can only hold one thought at a time in your mind. Choose gratitude over worry.

2. Move. Whatever you can do to move, do it. Movement is therapy. Take part in online yoga, dance at home, go for a walk, go for a run, just move, especially if you don’t feel like it. You will thank yourself once you are done.

3. Be selective in the news you consume. Stay informed. Educate yourself on how to stay safe and healthy. But please remember that watching and reading the news non-stop is addictive and will keep you in panic and fear. Now more than ever it is important that you consume things that are uplifting and make you laugh.

4. Use your imagination and manifest the good.  Use your creative power and the power of prayer for good. See the world calm. Imagine the panic turning into a sigh of relief: The coronavirus disappearing. People being healthy and happy. The natural world healed and all the animals protected. Global warming reversed.  Children laughing.  The elderly thriving as they share their wisdom. The economy booming. Airports filled with people ready for adventures. You are that powerful. You and I together can make an impact.

5. Talk about your feelings. Don’t bottle it up. Express how you feel. But choose your confidant wisely. Let it be a person who will uplift you. A person who will empathically get you but not bury you under an avalanche of their own fears and leave you even more desperate than how they found you. Reach out to me. I am here for you.

6. Breathe slowly and deeply. Here is my favorite mantra when going through hard times: Breathe in faith, breathe out fear.

If you need emotional support to help with stress, insomnia or other personal or professional issues, email me at  bela@belacoaching.com for a 30-minute free consultation.  Also visit my website at www.belacoaching.com. I’m offering a sliding scale fee rate to fit every budget.

Learning How to Build Resilience

Lately, the world seems to be going from one crisis to another. We are experiencing a global pandemic, changes in the ways we’ve been living our daily lives, economic uncertainty, political and social turmoil and natural disasters. 

But no matter what we are facing — building resilience can help us cope with stress, overcome adversity and enjoy the better days to come.

But how do we build resilience?

Here are Two Definitions of Resilience:

  • The capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.
  • The ability of a substance or object to spring back into shape; elasticity.

So How Do We Spring Back into Shape and Recover From Difficulties?

Without being aware of it, I’ve had to build resilience since I was a little girl. First, my parents were holocaust survivors and were role models for me after going through horrific life experiences as teenagers.

They were also set in their ways. It was either their way or no way. When I was a little girl and played the accordion for about three years, I wanted to start playing piano. My mother said, “You started with the accordion, and you have to continue what you start.”

When I wanted to move away to college, my parents told me they wouldn’t help me financially unless I lived at home. I was an only child and an independent thinker, so off I went to live in Berkley in 1969 and attended Merritt City College in Oakland where the black panthers had their headquarters. I was also active in the anti-war protests.

It was a fantastic experience of independence, but my parents didn’t agree or help me and I was very angry at them for some time. I worked part time in the English department at my college and supported myself while living with my cousin and several others – and had some great experiences. I then traveled through Europe with a friend and lived in Israel on a kibbutz for a year.

Later I married and had two small children. But the marriage was very difficult and after 12 years finally had the courage to leave my husband, but had no backing from my mother because she didn’t agree that I should leave him. 

What I didn’t know is that over the years, facing challenging times again and again, I learned to build resilience. If I hadn’t gone through the difficulties and challenges of my early life, I couldn’t have built resilience to face the challenges that were to come.  My early life prepared me for a more positive future – leaving my husband, starting a new business, and supporting my children with very little child support.

Thank You, Resiliency!

I’ve now been with my soul mate for more than 31 years, and that resilience I learned is constantly with me, and has helped me throughout my life. Most recently, it helped me four years ago when I had a bad accident and sustained three fractures to my pelvis, and this past December with a total hip replacement. Thank you, resiliency! I am very grateful for you.

Ted Talk with Lucy Hone, Resilience Researcher

I also want to mention that I watched a TED talk recently with Lucy Hone, a woman from New Zealand whose job it was to do research on resilience.  She described her life as perfect until her 12-year-old daughter and her daughter’s friend were killed instantly in a car accident. She went through the very difficult stages of grief – and when that dark period was over, she came up with three strategies of resilience that aided Lucy in her darkest days that I want to share with you:

1. People who accept suffering as a part of life have an easier time being resilient.

2. Resilient people have worked out a way to tune into their good thoughts.  Make an intentional, deliberate ongoing effort to look for what is good in the world and in your life. One powerful way to learn to do this is to write down what you are grateful for.

3. Questions that have helped her when her thoughts go off track: “Is what I’m thinking harming me, or helping me? Do I really need that thought?” This strategy is readily available to you anytime or anywhere. It gives you control in your decision making.

Do You Need Help Building Resilience in Your Life?

If you are interested in learning to be resilient and to make positive changes in your life contact me for a free 30-minute consultation at https://belacoaching.com/contact/. I offer a sliding scale fee that will fit any budget.