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Getting Your Mojo Back

The word “mojo” is said to have come from West African slaves and relates to magic and spells that generate power and good luck. Today the word mojo refers to a source of vigor, energy, sexual potency, and power.

It’s easy to lose your mojo in these tumultuous times. Ask yourself: Am I feeling depleted, overwhelmed, confused fearful, stressed-out, tired, bored or lethargic?  If the answer is yes, you may be losing your mojo, and it can be challenging to find the motivation to reclaim it. You don’t want to remain in that mojo-less place for too long, or your lost mojo might mushroom into a full-blown depression.

Getting Your Mojo Magic Back Just Takes Some Small Changes.

You can begin to feel more energy and enthusiasm about yourself and all the world has to offer — yes, even in these difficult times — just by making some small life changes that will release the magic of your mojo.

I know what it’s like to lose mojo, but I’ve been able to reclaim it again and again: Living in a failed marriage, during a separation, as a single mom, in the midst of a financial crisis, being “laid off” from a job I needed but detested, losing my parents, recovering from a serious injury, having major surgery.  The list goes on and on, but the good news is that I’ve always been able to reclaim my mojo.  And so can you!

Here are five action steps to help you reclaim your mojo when you feel that it’s lost:

  1. Address your stress and get unstuck.  If you feel overwhelmed — lighten your load and be aware of what is causing you stress. You may first feel stuck and that nothing is working for you, but if you shift your perspective your mojo will show up. Journaling is a great way to address the source of your stress. Write at least a paragraph on how you’d like your life to change, and believe it – and your mojo will show up.
  2. Stay away from negativity. If you are serious about getting back on track you have to stay away from negativity. This includes toxic and negative people and negative talk.  Keeping a gratitude journal will do wonders for your attitude. Keep informed, but refrain from watching and reading too much news.
  3. Have fun. Recall the things you did when you were younger that gave you joy.  Grab a pen and paper and write down the fun things you did and circle the things that you’d like to do again.  And start doing the things you can.
  4. Start with baby steps. It’s easy to be overwhelmed. But one small step can help restore your confidence. With one step at time you can conquer the unconquerable.
  5. Don’t be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help. Sometimes the simple act of asking for help from a friend, coach or counselor can be the boost you need for getting your mojo back. Speaking to someone can help you remember that everyone needs help from time to time and that no one can do it alone.

Can you think of more ways to get your mojo back?

If you are interested in learning how life coaching and hypnotherapy can help get your mojo back and make long term, positive changes in your life, contact me at bela@belacoaching.com. Also, visit my website at www.belacoaching.com.

Going with the Flow – A Life Lesson for Us All

Be Inspired Women’s Circle

When I was thinking of a topic for a recent Be Inspired Women’s Circle, I discovered an article about marathon swimmers – those brave people who swim in the oceans and rivers.  They are also called open water swimmers. The article focuses on Marilyn Bell, an award-winning swimmer who has been swimming open waters for more than 60 years.

At one point in her adult life she couldn’t walk because of serious back issues and was in a motorized wheel chair. But she learned to swim in a different way thanks to her swim coach.  In the article she talks about how she deals with life’s challenges, and specifically about the Pandemic.  This is a great lesson for us all.

Open water swimmer Marilyn Bell

I’d like to share some of the article with you:

Open water swimmers can never be certain about the outcome of a    swim. They’re always at the mercy of many elements outside of their control, from waves, to weather, to wildlife, to simply finding the will to keep swimming. For them, life isn’t a swimming pool, with lanes to follow and water that’s always heated to a comfortable temperature.

Marilyn Bell became the first person to swim across Lake Ontario at only 16, and went on to swim the English Channel.  She says that Marathon swimming has always been her metaphor for life.

Quoting Marilyn Bell:

“Life is an ocean full of unpredictability and difficulty. But after each swim, we emerge from the water stronger and more capable.

Minutes before the Lake Ontario swim was my first real experience of being totally unsettled, frantic, afraid, terrified. It was that experience that set the tone for how I have dealt with adversity and all the ups and downs of life since.

Often, dealing with uncertainty is about trust. When we’re really lucky, especially during uncertain times, we have a support system, whoever it happens to be: family, friends, faith. I think all open water swimmers would agree that a support system is key.

Being in the present

It’s about recognizing that there are so many variables that aren’t in your control. You can control how you think. You can also control what you want to think about. But you have to work at controlling being in the present moment and not thinking about what’s going to happen in the future.

When you’re swimming, you wonder, “How long am I going to be stuck in this lake? How long is it going to take to get to shore? What happens if they don’t give me my food in time?” These are the things you can think about. But if you overthink them, they’re going to really be detrimental.

Even if you do everything right, the tide can change. That’s what swimmers do, as long as they’re able. They swim until the tide changes.

Pondering the Pandemic

Now, during a global pandemic, people are wondering, ‘How long is this pandemic going to last? How long will it be before we have a vaccine? What happens if I get the virus?’

The pandemic is a variable that’s currently out of our control. When you’re swimming and worrying about things you can’t control, it’s not going to make a difference, but just makes your swim more difficult.

And regarding the pandemic, it’s the same. My belief is to control the things that I can and the rest will take care of itself.”

How are you going with the flow of life, against the tide or with it?

Being Playful During the Pandemic

With the pandemic encroaching our lives there continues to be a lot of heaviness in the world today. But we can change that feeling if we give ourselves permission to have fun and be playful. Being playful comes naturally when we are children, but as we become adults and go through difficulties in our lives, a serious side takes over.

Some of us had difficult and challenging childhoods, while others had delightful and fun times. But today, it really doesn’t matter. Playfulness brings joy within ourselves and what better feeling can we bring today in the midst of a global pandemic than to find joy within ourselves?

I can’t say that my childhood was fun or easy. Things were not light hearted in my home. My parents were holocaust survivors and did not get along. But I smiled and wore that “happy” mask for many, many years. In my second marriage I married a man who is playful and fun – and that was what drew me to him. It was a challenge for me to learn to be playful. Of course, I smiled and continued to wear that old “happy” mask that I learned so long ago. But little by little, after learning how to meditate, breathe and lots of work on myself, I finally allowed my spirit to let go and have more fun and appreciate the joy that I have within. After 31 years of marriage, being light hearted is something that I still strive for and still work at. My husband, Nelson, is a great role model.

I’d like to share an article, “Playfulness Brings Joy,” written beautifully by Madyson Taylor, creator of the Daily OM website.

“When we approach our lives with a spirit of fun and liveliness, we are aligning ourselves much more closely with our true spirit…Letting yourself play, joke and laugh unabashedly will fill today with happiness and wonder.”

One way to be more playful is to cultivate a happy, joyful, positive attitude, full of gratitude for even the smallest, everyday things. What ways can you be more playful today?

If you are interested in learning how to make positive changes in your life to be more playful and have more fun, contact Bela Friedman for a free 30-minute consultation at https://belacoaching.com/contact/. I offer a sliding scale fee that will fit any budget.

12 Steps to Find True Vision for Yourself

If you’ve ever felt lost you aren’t alone. Life continuously has its ups and downs, and we all have times in our lives that are challenging.  There is a Jewish saying, “Without vision, the people parish.” 

If you are feeling like your life is going in circles, here are 12 steps to create a vision for yourself:

  • Learn to breathe deeply and meditate for clarity, intuition and guidance. Mindful meditation can help clear your mind and relax your body so that you can remain calm and access information, both internally and externally to help you make better life decisions.
  • Give gratitude. Look around you and find what is right and what is working. There are more things in your life that are right than out of control. Praise them. Write daily lists of how all your needs are met and how life is taking care of you. Be aware how you become more positive with this daily practice.
  • Forgive yourself and others.  Do you need to forgive yourself or others? When you hold on to old wounds your life can be heavy with anger, rage and resentment and it is difficult to move ahead. Be honest with your feelings and seek counsel so that you can forgive and move forward.
  • Explore your talents and passions. Every person is unique and has a special light that shines on them. That light is shining on you.  Just ask yourself: What passions or talents do I have that that I’m not using? The time has come for you to share it with the world.
  • Spend time with positive people.  Positive people lift you up and energize; toxic people will drain the energy from you. Seek out positive people whose lives you admire.
  • Be your own best friend.  Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your best friend? Being your own best friend means that you are kind, gracious, forgiving and have positive thoughts about yourself.
  • Explore new opportunities. If you are feeling stifled, or are in a situation that isn’t working for you, think of an alternative that would make you come alive. Just use your imagination.
  • Stretch yourself – dream big. Don’t limit yourself or allow lack of confidence or fear to stop you from creating your vision.  If your vision isn’t causing you to feel a little uncomfortable, you aren’t dreaming big enough.
  • Write a mission statement. A simple sentence stating your vision is a great way to start.  Then write three to five action steps to take and follow through on these steps. When you’ve completed these steps, write down three to five more. You’ll be surprised how much you can accomplish by following these steps.
  • Write affirmations for empowerment. Write at least three affirmations that boost your well-being.  One example is: When I listen to my inner self, I find all the answers I need.
  • Flexibility is key. As life goes on, circumstances may change and you may have to tweak your vision. Think of it as an on-going process or a living thing.
  • Find an accountability partner.  Seek out a professional like a life coach who will hold you accountable to reach your goals and stay on course.

As a life coach, the place I begin with is you – the individual – your personality — your dreams and passions – and your heart’s desires to help you create your vision.  Contact me for a free 30-minute consultation at bela@belacoachng.com.

A Mother’s Day Love Note

I’m sending you all a Mother’s Day love note — if you are a mother or not. We all need to feel love and warmth a little more these days. I was inspired to send you these wonderful words from Messages from the Angels by Dawn Lianna.

You are cherished. You are a precious child of the universe and you are cherished just because. Without lifting a finger, you are cherished. You are cherished and loved.

Be good to yourself today. Self-care is important.

This is a different type of Mother’s Day, and it may be difficult time for many. But remember that what we are going through is only temporary. Remember to breathe. We will get through this pandemic as we will enter a new normal in the not too distant future. No one really knows how to navigate what we are all going through. Staying safe, taking care of yourself and your loved ones at home is enough.

 If you are having issues with stress, confidence or fear please reach out to me. I give free consultations and offering Zoom and phone life coaching and hypnotherapy session on a sliding scale to meet your financial needs.

Sent with love,

Bela Friedman

A Few Announcements

Dear Be Inspired Community,

I hope this message finds you and your families all healthy and doing well.  We’ve all been going through the challenge of living through a pandemic, but are also experiencing beautiful growth, inspiration and learning as we face the unknown — if we feel it or not.

I’m kicking off May with a few announcements:

  1. Save the date for our upcoming online Be Inspired Women’s Circle on Zoom Saturday, May 16, 1-2:30 pm. Please remember to sign up for a free Zoom account if you haven’t already. The Circle’s agenda will include an inspiring or fun topic, sharing in conversation, journaling, and I’ll be giving a guided meditation to help take your minds off the current situation. I hope you will attend. There is a $10 fee and you can pay via PayPal or check. If you have any questions please let me know. Please RSVP before May 15.
  1. I’m excited to announce that I just received my certification in Prepare for Surgery, Heal Faster- A guide to body-mind techniques workshopThis incredible program is for anyone planning on having surgery, a surgical procedure, and anyone with anxiety or insomnia. This hour-long workshop is done on the phone or Zoom. I’m a huge believer in this program. When I had my hip replacement surgery in December it helped me recover faster, take less pain meds and feel more relaxed before during and after surgery. It also helped me be empowered with the hospital, surgeon and anesthesiologist. If you have any questions or would like to participate, please contact me. The workshop cost is $95.
  1. If you or a friend are in need of emotional support in any way, let me know. I’m here to help. I offer a free 30-minute consultation and sliding scale to fit all budgets and needs.

Sending love and light,

Bela Friedman

Are you feeling anxious today about the coronavirus? Here’s how to boost your mood right now.

If you are feeling anxious, having a hard day or just uncertain and scared about the unknown — here is what you can do today to feel better right now:

1. Be grateful. Look around you and find what is right and what is working. There are more things in your life that are right than out of control. Praise them. Intentionally make mental and written lists of how all your needs are met and how life is taking care of you. Whatever the fear, counter it with gratitude. If you are worried about your health, make lists of all the parts of your body that are healthy and functioning well. If you are worried about the economy, praise all the ways that your needs have been met and how you are always taken care of. Give thanks. You can only hold one thought at a time in your mind. Choose gratitude over worry.

2. Move. Whatever you can do to move, do it. Movement is therapy. Do yoga, dance at home, go to the gym, go for a walk, go for a run, just move, especially if you don’t feel like it. You will thank yourself once you are done.

3. Be selective in the news you consume. Please stay informed. Be educated on how to stay safe and healthy. But please remember that watching and reading the news non-stop is addictive and will keep you in panic and fear. Now more than ever it is important that you consume things that are uplifting and make you laugh.

4. Use your imagination and manifest the good.  Use your creative power and the power of prayer for good. See the world calm. The panic turning into a sigh of relief. The coronavirus disappearing. People being healthy and happy. Children laughing. The elderly thriving as they share their wisdom. The economy booming. Airports filled with people ready for adventures. You are that powerful. You and I together can make an impact.

5. Talk about your feelings. Don’t bottle it up. Express how you feel. But choose your confidant wisely. Let it be a person who will uplift you. A person who will empathically get you but not bury you under an avalanche of their own fears and leave you even more desperate than how they found you. Reach out to me. I am here for you.

6. Breathe slowly and deeply. Here is my favorite mantra when going through hard times: Breathe in faith, breathe out fear.

Email me at bela@belacoaching.com if you want us to work together to bring you emotional support and balance.

Sending you oceans of peace, health and love.

Bela Friedman


Valentine’s Day Quick Tips on Self-Love and Self-Care

Valentine’s Day is just a few days away – and it’s time to practice self-love and self-care. Being good to yourself is what’s important. You may feel down because you are alone, or maybe you have a partner but still feel lonely and/or unloved. Whether you are alone or not, self-love and self-care are what is important. Here’s a short list to boost your mood:

  1. Pamper yourself: Book a massage, have your nails done, get a facial.
  2. Prepare your favorite dinner complete with candles and your best dishes.
  3. Read a book for pleasure.
  4. Take a walk in nature and be mindful.
  5. Watch a good movie.
  6. If it’s cold and rainy out, turn on your favorite music and have a dance party with yourself or a partner.
  7. Most of all, be grateful for what you have.

Remember that it all begins with loving yourself first! As a life coach, the place I begin with is you – the individual – your personality — your dreams and passions – and your heart’s true desires! 

From Sight to Vision

I led a wonderful women’s circle recently based on a beautiful article from the Daily OM – one of my favorite websites that sends daily words of wisdom written by a very talented Madisyn Taylor.
 
Briefly, it stated, “Sight is the ability to see the physical world, while vision is the gift of seeing beyond it. Anyone who has lost their eyesight can tell you there are things that are clearer when you cannot see the world through your eyes. One of the reasons many meditation instructors advise sitting with eyes closed is because we automatically become more in touch with our inner world when we aren’t distracted by the outer world.”
 
The article went on to say that those of us with perfect eyesight will generally lose some of the acuity, but that this loss is usually replaced with inner vision.
 
To me, inner vision and trusting my intuition go hand in hand. When I was younger, I struggled developing inner vision. I just didn’t trust myself, nor was I ready to listen to my intuition. I did what I thought I was supposed to do. I had difficulties in high school and college, was in some destructive and toxic relationships, and had a difficult first marriage. It was only as I grew older that I allowed my vision to blossom into my soul’s purpose. I finally started believing and trusting in myself. I became accountable to fulfill what was pulling at my heart strings. When my successful 30-year career in public relations wasn’t giving me joy, I listened to the universe and ultimately created a new vision and passion for my life: To help others one on one. Once I made the decision to become certified in life coaching and hypnotherapy my inner vision guided me to help others make positive changes in their lives. And I’m so glad it did!
 
What can you do to move from sight to vision?

If you are interested in learning how life coaching and hypnotherapy can help you get unstuck and make long term, positive changes in your life, contact me at bela@belacoaching.com; You can leave a message at 503-848-3640. Also, visit my website at www.belacoaching.com.