Blog | Bela Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy

Thanksgiving Day Tips: How to Care for Yourself When Triggers Arise.

Thanksgiving is a time to gather with loved ones, celebrate gratitude, and enjoy a delicious meal. However, it can also bring together people with vastly different viewpoints, which may lead to tensions or disagreements. Here are some tips on how to handle these potential triggers and keep the holiday festive and harmonious.

Practice Empathy and Active Listening
When differences arise, practice empathy. Try to understand where the other person is coming from. Active listening—really hearing what the other person is saying without immediately formulating a response—can go a long way in defusing tension.
Set Boundaries Early
Before the gathering, set clear boundaries with yourself and others. Decide which topics are off-limits, such as politics or religion, and communicate these boundaries to your family and friends if needed. It’s perfectly okay to say, “Let’s focus on what we’re thankful for and save this discussion for another time.”
Stay Calm and Respectful
If a conversation starts to heat up, take a deep breath and stay calm. Keeping your tone respectful and avoiding personal attacks helps maintain a constructive dialogue. If necessary, gracefully change the subject to something neutral.
Find Common Ground
Focus on what unites you rather than what divides you. Shared memories, common interests, or mutual respect can be great conversation anchors. Highlighting positive connections can help steer conversations away from conflict.
Take Breaks if Needed
It’s okay to step away if you feel overwhelmed. Take a walk, spend some time with the kids, or simply find a quiet space to regroup. Giving yourself a moment to breathe can make a big difference in your ability to handle stressful situations.
Remember the Purpose of Thanksgiving
Ultimately, Thanksgiving is about gratitude and togetherness. Remind yourself of this purpose and strive to foster a loving and inclusive environment. Focus on the joy of being together and the blessings in your life. By approaching Thanksgiving with empathy, clear boundaries, and a focus on the positive, you can navigate tricky interactions and ensure a more enjoyable holiday for everyone.

To learn more about how I can help you make a positive change in your life, contact me for a free 30-minute consultation. You can call me at 503-939-2269 or email bela@belacoaching.com.
Wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving filled with joy and gratitude

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10 Tips for Coping with Election News and Practicing Self-Care

Feeling overwhelmed by election news? You’re not alone. This election season, it’s natural to feel a range of emotions—anxiety, hope, and for many of us frustration. To help you find balance and stay grounded, here are 10 tips that can help you prioritize your well-being and embrace self-care, especially when news cycles feel endless.

1. Breathe Deeply to Reset Your Nervous System – When anxiety starts to build, try sitting or lying down and taking at least 10 slow, deep breaths. Inhale through your nose for a count of four, hold briefly, and exhale gently through your mouth for a count of six. Deep breathing can signal your body to relax, slowing the heart rate and calming the mind.

2. Set Boundaries with News Consumption – Choose specific times of day to check the news and avoid reading updates first thing in the morning or right before bed. If social media and news apps make it hard to resist checking, consider logging out temporarily or even deleting apps to create a bit of distance.

3. Use Meditation to Find Calm in Chaos -Practicing meditation can help quiet the noise, whether it’s 5 minutes of focused breathing or a guided meditation. Apps like Calm, Headspace, or Insight Timer can be helpful if you’re new to meditation. This practice can keep you centered, especially when everything around feels uncertain.

4. Listen to Music That Uplifts or Grounds You – Create a playlist with songs that lift your spirits or help you relax. Whether it’s classical, jazz, or your favorite upbeat tunes, music can be a simple yet powerful tool to shift your mood.

5. Show Compassion—To Yourself and Others – Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling without judgment. Practice kindness, both towards yourself and others. Self-compassion is essential; it reminds you that it’s okay to pause, rest, and take time to process.

6. Stay Active, Stay Hydrated -Physical movement, even a short walk, can work wonders for your mental state. Aim to get outside or do simple exercises indoors. Remember to stay hydrated too—dehydration can impact mood and focus.

7. Seek Nature for a Refreshing Break – Stepping outside to connect with nature can help ground you. Go for a walk and take in the beauty around you, especially during the vibrant fall season. Observe the colors, sounds, and textures; let the experience fill your senses and bring a sense of peace.

8. Keep a Journal to Process and Express Yourself – Writing can be a powerful way to process emotions. Spend a few minutes each day jotting down how you’re feeling, what’s on your mind, and what you’re grateful for. Writing helps you process emotions, which can lighten the weight of stress.

9. Focus on What You Can Control – Accepting what you cannot control can be freeing. Direct your energy toward things you can influence, whether that’s helping a loved one, improving a skill, or taking a small action that aligns with your values.

10. Vote to Empower Yourself – Voting is one of the most tangible ways to impact your community and voice your values. When you vote, you’re taking a stand and shaping the future. Know that your vote matters.

Consider sharing these tips with someone who might benefit from a bit of support. Self-care isn’t just for you; it’s a message of resilience and well-being that can help lift others too. Make this election season an opportunity to practice kindness, gratitude, and connection.

Make this your special self-care week! For more information on how you can cope with election stress and self-care, contact Bela Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy at bela@belacoaching.com, or call 503-939-2269.

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Do you know how to navigate political differences? Here is a guide to peaceful conversations with family member or friend.

In today’s polarized world, political differences can often strain even the closest relationships. Political arguments can leave you upset and frustrated. Here are some strategies anyone can use to maintain peace while respecting each other’s views.

Set Boundaries: It is essential to establish clear boundaries around political discussions. Politely but firmly, let your friend or loved one know that you value your relationship more than political debates and would prefer to avoid those topics.

Practice Active Listening: When political discussions do arise, focus on listening to understand rather than respond. This approach can reduce the intensity of arguments and foster more constructive conversations.

Agree to Disagree: It’s okay to acknowledge that you have different views. Agreeing to disagree without trying to change each other’s minds can help maintain harmony.

Focus on Common Ground: Find topics that you both enjoy discussing, such as family, hobbies, or other shared interests. Strengthening your relationship in other areas can help bridge the gap created by political differences.

Manage Emotional Triggers: Stay calm during conversations by practicing deep breathing or mindfulness techniques. This can prevent emotions from escalating and help you maintain control.

Communicate Respectfully: Use “I” statements to express your feelings (e.g., “I feel upset when we argue about politics”) rather than blaming or accusing. This keeps the conversation respectful and more productive.

Seek Support: Remember, you’re not alone. Sharing your experiences in a support group can provide comfort, understanding, and advice from others who face similar challenges.

By applying these strategies, it’s possible to navigate political differences with respect and understanding, keeping your relationships strong even when your views don’t align.

For more information on how you can maintain peace and respect in these polarized and crazy times, contact Bela Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy at bela@belacoaching or call 503-939-2269.

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Having Sleep Issues? Bela Life Coaching Can Help.

A good night’s sleep is crucial for maintaining both mental and physical health. Sleep is not just a time for rest but a vital period during which the body and mind rejuvenate, repair, and prepare for the challenges of the next day.

Here’s why quality sleep is so important:

Mental Clarity and Focus: A good night’s sleep enhances cognitive functions such as memory, concentration, and problem-solving. Lack of sleep can lead to confusion, forgetfulness, and difficulty in making decisions.
Emotional Balance: Sleep helps regulate emotions, making it easier to manage stress, anxiety, and mood swings. Poor sleep can exacerbate feelings of irritability and even contribute to depression.
Physical Health: Quality sleep supports the immune system, reduces the risk of chronic illnesses like heart disease and diabetes, and promotes faster recovery from illness or injury.

How Bela Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy Can Help You:

At Bela Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy, we understand the profound impact that sleep has on overall well-being. Our tailored approach can help you achieve the restorative sleep your body and mind need. Here’s how we can assist:

Personalized Coaching: We work with you to identify and address the root causes of your sleep issues, whether they stem from stress, anxiety, or lifestyle habits. Together, we’ll develop a plan that promotes better sleep hygiene and overall wellness.
Hypnotherapy for Relaxation: Through guided hypnotherapy sessions, we help you relax deeply, release tension, and quiet the mind, paving the way for a peaceful night’s sleep. This natural, drug-free approach can significantly improve the quality of your sleep.
Ongoing Support: We provide continuous support and tools to help you maintain healthy sleep patterns. Our goal is to empower you to enjoy the benefits of regular, restful sleep and wake up feeling refreshed and ready to take on the day.

For more information on how you can get a better night’s sleep, contact Bela Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy at bela@belacoaching or call 503-939-2269.

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As a parent with adult children, do you know the line between helping and enabling?

Balancing between helping and enabling adult children can be challenging. Bela Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy offers guidelines to help distinguish between the two:

Helping

Providing Support and Encouragement: Offer emotional support and encouragement for their goals and efforts.
Teaching Skills: Help them learn skills that will foster independence, such as budgeting, cooking, or job searching.
Setting Boundaries: Clearly define what kind of help you are willing to provide and stick to those boundaries.
Encouraging Responsibility: Support them in taking responsibility for their actions and decisions.
Offering Guidance: Provide advice and guidance when asked, but let them make their own decisions.
Providing Temporary Financial Assistance: If necessary, offer short-term financial help with a clear plan for repayment or steps towards self-sufficiency.

Enabling

Removing Consequences: Constantly bailing them out of difficult situations or protecting them from the consequences of their actions.
Over-involvement: Taking over their responsibilities or making decisions for them.
Unconditional Financial Support: Providing ongoing financial support without any expectations or plans for them to become independent.
Ignoring Problems: Overlooking or denying issues such as substance abuse, lack of motivation, or other harmful behaviors.
Making Excuses: Justifying their lack of effort or poor decisions instead of encouraging them to improve.
Sacrificing Your Well-being: Neglecting your own needs and well-being to continually support them.

Key Considerations

Assess Their Needs vs. Wants: Determine if the support is genuinely necessary for their well-being or if it is a want that they should be managing on their own.
Encourage Problem-Solving: Instead of solving problems for them, encourage them to think through and find solutions.
Promote Independence: Aim to help them develop the skills and confidence needed to become independent.
Set Clear Expectations: Communicate your expectations clearly and consistently regarding their progress towards independence.
Seek Professional Guidance: If you are unsure, consider seeking advice from a life coach, therapist or counselor to navigate the balance between helping and enabling.

By focusing on empowerment and fostering independence, you can support your adult children effectively without enabling dependency.

If you are having issues with your adult child, or letting go of critical thoughts, please reach out to me. I give free consultations and offer Zoom and in-person life and energy coaching, relationship coaching, group coaching and much more to meet your financial needs. I’m also certified in the Prepare for Surgery, Heal Faster™ developed by Peggy Huddleston. Contact me for a free consultation at 503-939-2269 or bela@belacoaching.com.

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Are You Experiencing Anxiety, Fear or Insomnia? I Can Help.

There are many ways Bela Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy in Beaverton, Oregon can help you learn to release the stress you are experiencing and help boost your mood today.

I combine the practice of life and energy coaching, hypnotherapy, guided visualization, EFT (tapping) and other tools that can empower individuals with remarkable results by engaging both the conscious and unconscious minds. I will identify the resources you need to help you overcome the stress.

If you need help right away here are ways to cope with stress today:

Take breaks from watching, reading, or listening to news stories, including social media.
Take care of your body. Take slow deep breaths, stretch, meditate, and exercise.
Make time to unwind and be kind to yourself.
Take a walk in nature.
Listen to your favorite music; dance.
Write your thoughts in a journal/notebook
Connect with positive people.
Reach out to a professional.

In addition, I offer instruction on self-hypnosis, EFT (tapping), meditation and breathing exercises to enhance your coaching and/or hypnotherapy sessions.

Some of the issues I work with:

Prepare for Surgery, Heal Faster™ workshop
Insomnia
Stress management
Relaxation
Easing nervous tension
Feeling stuck
Overcoming phobias and fears
Pain management
Improved self-confidence
Personal and career development
Achieving success
Motivation
Career and business achievement
Weight management
Smoking cessation

There is no need to suffer alone. Call today for a free 30-minute consultation at 503-939-2269, or send an email to bela@belacoaching.com. I work with people in person in Beaverton, Oregon, as well as online. For those working with me, I offer a sliding scale that can fit anyone’s budget.

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Next Monthly In-Person Support Group for Moms of Adult Children in Transition – July 27, 1-2:30 pm

Is your adult child struggling to launch or making poor decisions? Are you still overparenting?

Join us for “Journey Together: Moms Navigating Adult Children’s Transitions” – a supportive space for moms like you.

Date: Saturday, July 27, 1:00 PM – 2:30 PM PST
Location: Beaverton, Oregon (at my home)

Cost: $20

RSVP:

Phone: 503-939-2269
Email: bela@belacoaching.com

Bela Friedman, certified life and energy coach, and certified clinical hypnotherapist.
Learn more: Bela Coaching

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Self-Care Strategies for Moms of Adult Children Having Challenges

If you are a mom of an adult child who is struggling and/or making bad decisions, it’s important to prioritize your well-being. Here is a list of self-care strategies that can be beneficial:

Set Boundaries:
- Establish clear boundaries with your adult children to protect your emotional and mental health.
Practice Mindfulness and Meditation:
- Engage in mindfulness practices or meditation to stay present and reduce stress.
Engage in Physical Activity:
- Regular exercise, whether it’s walking, yoga, or any form of movement, can help alleviate stress and improve mood.
Seek Social Support:
- Connect with friends, family, or other supportive individuals. Sharing experiences and feelings can be very therapeutic.
Pursue Hobbies and Interests:
- Dedicate time to activities you enjoy or explore new hobbies to create a sense of fulfillment and joy.
Practice Self-Compassion:
- Be kind to yourself and avoid self-blame. Understand that you’re doing your best in challenging circumstances.
Attend Therapy or Counseling:
- Consider speaking with a life coach or therapist to process emotions, gain insights, and develop coping strategies.
Journaling:
- Write down your thoughts and feelings regularly. This can provide emotional release and clarity.
Healthy Eating and Sleep Habits:
- Maintain a balanced diet and ensure you get adequate sleep to support overall health and well-being.
Set Realistic Expectations:
- Recognize and accept that you cannot control your adult children’s decisions. Focus on what you can control.
Learn and Educate Yourself:
- Read books or attend workshops about parenting adult children to gain new perspectives and strategies.
Engage in Relaxation Techniques:
- Practice deep breathing exercises, progressive muscle relaxation, or listen to calming music.
Create a Support Network:
- Join or form a support group where you can share experiences and receive support from others in similar situations.
Practice Gratitude:
- Keep a gratitude journal to remind yourself of positive aspects of your life.
Limit Negative Influences:
- Reduce exposure to negative news or social media that can increase anxiety or stress.
Engage in Spiritual Practices:
- If you are spiritual or religious, participate in activities that nurture your spiritual side, such as prayer or attending services.
Take Breaks:
- Give yourself permission to take breaks from caregiving or worrying about your children to recharge and relax.
Professional Development:
- Invest time in personal or professional growth. This can boost self-esteem and provide a sense of accomplishment.
Volunteer:
- Helping others can provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment, and it can also be a way to shift focus from personal worries.

Pamper Yourself:
- Treat yourself to activities that make you feel good, such as a spa day, a new book, a favorite meal, or just taking a walk.

You should try different strategies and find what works best for you. It’s important to remember that taking care of yourself is not selfish but necessary for your overall well-being and ability to support your adult children effectively.

As a life and energy coach and hypnotherapist in Beaverton, Ore., I work with people online or in-person. I’m here to support and guide you on your journey with your adult children who are having struggles, or any challenges you may be going through. My specialties include stress management, building confidence and personal and professional development. Clients also learn to heal, restore and empower their energy heal blocks and let go of stuck energy.

Contact me today at bela@belacoaching.com or 503-939-2269 for a free consultation.

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Monthly In-Person Support Group for Moms of Adult Children in Transition June 15, 1-2:30 pm

If your adult child is experiencing a failure to launch or making poor decisions, you won’t want to miss the new monthly in-person support group meeting, “Journey Together: Moms Navigating Adult Children’s Transitions.”

o Date: Saturday, June 15, 1:00 pm – 2:30 pm

o Cost: $20

o Location: My home in Beaverton, Oregon (Contact me for address.)

Join us as we embark on a journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and connection. Through interactive discussions, reflective exercises, and creative activities, we will explore:

o Navigating the transition from active parenting to supporting your adult children’s independence.

o Cultivating self-care practices and nurturing your own passions and interests.

o Fostering healthy communication and boundaries with your adult children.

o Embracing change and finding joy in new opportunities for personal growth.

o Together, we will break through limitations, ignite our inner creativity, and support each other on this beautiful journey of motherhood and self-discovery.

Space is limited, so be sure to RSVP at your earliest convenience to secure your spot. Call me at 503-939-2269, or email me at bela@belacoaching.com.

If you are interested in joining, please answer the following questions and let me know what you are hoping to gain from this support group:

1. Briefly introduce yourself and share why you are interested in joining the group?

2. What are you hoping to gain from participating in this group?

3. What challenges are you currently facing in relation to your adult child’s independence?

4. Please let me know if there are other topics you would like to explore.

About Bela

As the facilitator of “Journey Together: Moms Navigating Adult Children’s Transitions,” I am honored to bring my unique blend of expertise, personal experience, and genuine empathy to our supportive community.

With more than seven years of experience as a life and energy coach, coupled with my specialization in hypnotherapy and surgery coaching, I have dedicated myself to empowering individuals to overcome obstacles, unlock their inner potential, heal, and create positive transformations in their lives. My approach combines evidence-based techniques with intuitive guidance, fostering a safe and nurturing environment for personal growth and self-discovery.

As a mother of three adult children myself, I intimately understand the joys, challenges, and transitions that come with guiding our children into adulthood. My firsthand experience provides me with a deep empathy and insight into the unique journey we embark upon as mothers during this transformative phase of life.

Through our group, I am committed to leveraging my professional expertise and personal understanding to facilitate meaningful discussions, creative explorations, and supportive interactions. Together, we will delve into topics such as navigating change, fostering healthy relationships, and embracing our own growth and fulfillment.

I believe that by sharing our stories, supporting one another, and tapping into our innate creativity, we can break through limitations, cultivate resilience, and thrive as mothers and individuals. I am deeply passionate about guiding you on this empowering journey of self-discovery, and I look forward to walking alongside you as we break boundaries and embrace the beautiful possibilities that lie ahead.

For more information, contact me at 503-939-2269, or email me at bela@belacoaching.com.

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Update: New Monthly In-Person Support Group for Mothers of Adult Children in Transition, May 25, 1-2pm

Is your adult child experiencing a failure to launch or making poor decisions? Have you been a helicopter parent and still overparenting?

If you are navigating the ever-evolving challenging journey of parenthood as your children venture into adulthood, and seeking a safe and supportive space to explore your own growth and creativity during this transformative phase of life, look no further.

I’m thrilled to invite you to the first in-person support group meeting, “Journey Together: Moms Navigating Adult Children’s Transitions,” Contact me for the address and to RSVP at 503-939-2269 or bela@belacoaching.com.

Date: Saturday, May 25, 1:00 pm – 2:00 pm
Cost: $20
Location: My Home (Contact me for address)

Join us as we embark on a journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and connection. Through interactive discussions, reflective exercises, and creative activities, we’ll explore:

Navigating the transition from active parenting to supporting your adult children’s independence.
Cultivating self-care practices and nurturing your own passions and interests.
Fostering healthy communication and boundaries with your adult children.
Embracing change and finding joy in new opportunities for personal growth.
Together, we will break through limitations, ignite our inner creativity, and support each other on this beautiful journey of motherhood and self-discovery.

Space is limited, so be sure to RSVP at your earliest convenience to secure your spot. Call me at 503-939-2269, or email me at bela@belacoaching.com

If you are interested in joining, please answer the following questions and let me know what you are hoping to gain from this support group:

Can you briefly introduce yourself and share why you are interested in joining the group?
What are you hoping to gain from participating in this group?
What challenges or difficulites are you currently facing in relation to your adult child’s independence?
Please let me know if there are other topics you would like to explore.

About Bela

As the facilitator of “Journey Together: Moms Navigating Adult Children’s Transitions,” I am honored to bring my unique blend of expertise, personal experience, and genuine empathy to our supportive community.

With more than seven years of experience as a life and energy coach, coupled with my specialization in hypnotherapy, NLP and surgery coaching, I have dedicated myself to empowering individuals to overcome obstacles, unlock their inner potential, and create positive transformations in their lives. My approach combines evidence-based techniques with intuitive guidance, fostering a safe and nurturing environment for personal growth and self-discovery.

Through our group, I am committed to leveraging my professional expertise and personal understanding to facilitate meaningful discussions, creative explorations, and supportive interactions. Together, we will delve into topics such as navigating change, fostering healthy relationships, and embracing our own growth and fulfillment.

I believe that by sharing our stories, supporting one another, and tapping into our innate creativity, we can break through limitations, cultivate resilience, and thrive as mothers and individuals.

I am deeply passionate about guiding you on this empowering journey of self-discovery, and I look forward to walking alongside you as we break boundaries and embrace the beautiful possibilities that lie ahead.

With warmth and understanding,

Bela Friedman

Bela Life Coaching and Hypnotherapy